How Free Do You Want To Be? #4 Perspective

“Thank you, God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad.”

Mary Shields Gordon

“There are no facts, only interpretations.” Friedrich Nietzsche

One of the most profound changes I’ve enjoyed in the last several years is the ability to gain perspective more quickly. I don’t always avoid emotional extremes of anger or resentment, but I get over it more quickly. I ask questions or evaluate situations through a different lens. Sometimes it takes a ‘minute’, but I can find the lesson, reclaim my power and make a decision to use the experience to my advantage.

I have learned that when I am in the whirlwind, I sometimes lack the capacity to accurately assess my situation.

There was a time when I was dramatic and created labels like “worst possible outcome” or “best ____ ever” (dealer’s choice, fill in the blank, hyperbole was a hallmark for quite a number of years).

More often than not, my “in the moment” assessments were wholly inaccurate…my worst-case scenarios were exactly what I needed in order to grow and my most unhappy moments have been a direct result of getting what I thought I wanted. (More about “pushing the river” later.)

Any kind of clear vision and understanding often takes time and experience. It also requires an abundance of open-mindedness to possible outcomes, not just the preferred or the feared. The art and discipline of suspending one’s judgement is also very helpful.

Merriam Webster defines perspective as the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance. Open-mindedness and a refusal to judge in the moment also gives us the power to leverage that definition and peremptorily turn any situation to our advantage.

Understanding how things truly relate and their relative importance can only come from asking the right questions:

What am I not seeing/understanding?

What does this situation have to teach me?

How can I be of service?

How have I dealt with something like this before? How did that turn out?

Asking questions and being curious can help us step out of emotional extremes and reactivity. It can help us maintain equilibrium when we are driven by hope or fear. It can save us so much time and emotional energy.

If you don’t believe me, do your own assessment…

How many times did you react and label a situation then realize later that it was or could have been used to your advantage (or maybe didn’t even have anything to do with you)?

My challenge to you is to pause and reflect before judging and labeling people, interactions, or situations for a week.

How much time, energy and emotion do you think you can save by staying open-minded and non-judgmental? How many situations will not be made worse by reactivity? Will your well-being improve if you just wait to see what the Universe is really trying to tell you?

We all deserve to be happy, joyous and free…This begins with changing how we perceive and react to situations. Take your power back and grow your well-being. I know you can and I’m here to help if you need me.

Love to you all, Frannie

P.S. The quarantine is a perfect time to connect by phone or video conference. I am here to be of service during these difficult times. Drop me a line and we can make time to connect.